Back in 1992 (Yes, 33 years ago!), I had a long conversation with a guy who seemed to have a lot of strange and paranoid views about all sorts of stuff. Most of what he was saying was new to me, but for some reason I found it all fascinating.
We had started off discussing performance enhancing drugs in cycling (PEDS), and then got onto a whole range of other topics. At that stage I had never even heard the term "conspiracy theorist" and it was more than a decade before I realised that discussion had sewn seeds in my mind that later took me down the same path.
How he knew so much back in 1992, in a largely pre-internet world, is beyond me. I was familiar with PEDS because I'd seen them first hand in cycling, and also because I'd read a lot about the history of the Tour de France, which is littered with thinly disguised references to drug use.
Some great undisguised quotes came from five times tour winner Jacques Anquetil (1957,61,62,63,& 64) who actually said all of the following:
"You can't ride the Tour de France on mineral water"
"You'd have to be an imbecile or hypocrite to imagine that a professional cyclist who rides 235 days a year can hold himself together without stimulants"
"For 50 years bike racers have been taking stimulants. Obviously we can do without them in a race, but then we will pedal 15 miles an hour (instead of 25). Since we are constantly asked to go faster and to make even greater efforts, we are obliged to take stimulants"
"Leave me in peace, everybody takes dope"
Beyond that, the only "conspiracy" topic I knew much about was the dangers of "vaccines", mainly from having read a couple of books exposing what was really going on with those.
Here is a list of 37 books warning about the death jabs ("vaccines") published between 1889 and 1991.
I did go on to read some more books about other "conspiracies", but it wasn't until I got an internet connection in 1998 that I really started looking into things myself and doing a bunch of research.
In those relatively early days the internet was filled with good information, in a way that the controlled internet of 2025 is not. The key thing being that it was actually quite easy to find a lot of the information that is now so carefully buried in utter crap.
I started out pretty keen to share the information ("conspiracies") that I learned about, but over the years I learned just how many people not only don't want to question what they have been programed to believe, but also how angry they get about anyone discussing it.
So I have tended to share more stuff online than in person, but even so, during the giant covidhoax, as society completely split in two, I became increasingly antisocial, (and I wasn't very social to begin with). The sad truth is, I became quite repulsed by "normies" and wanted nothing more to do with them.
Over the past quarter of a century I've very seldom encountered anyone who I would consider "more of a conspiracy theorist" than myself. I'm used to people only going so far, and then drawing their line in the sand. For example they typically might be fully onboard with "covid is a giant scam", but they get a bit edgy with "lots of celebs are trannies".
Being a "conspiracy theorist" has at least two major drawbacks:
1. To a certain extent it limits your social circle to only about 20% of the population. In general society you have to button your lip, saying nothing that disagrees with the brainwashed normie's moronic delusions. Or you constantly create anger and enemies. So for an introvert like me it's easier to just avoid all social interaction.
2. The other less widely discussed one is that it can leave you in a negative and defeated mindset. Once you have repeatedly seen that the majority of the population are mind controlled sheeple, who will follow the herd every time, and seemingly never learn anything, it gets really hard to have a positive outlook. Which is unhealthy and dysfunctional.
In an attempt to reduce that, I have been drawing my own lines in the sand...
Last night I listened to a guy who has been down most of the same rabbit holes I have, talking about a bunch of them, and was surprised to realise that I've been deliberately drawing lines in the sand for some subjects myself. Sort of like a normie!
I don't disagree with most of what he said, because I know there is a strong basis to support it all, and he had clearly done the research. But if I constantly hold all those beliefs as certainties, it is going to mess my headspace up even more than I already have done.
One of my coping mechanisms is to say "yes I do think evil globalist powers are attempting to take over the entire world, with a specific plan to kill most of us and enslave the remainder" while at the same time saying "their plans (including Agenda 2030) are deeply flawed, and while they are very cunning, they are also deeply degenerate, and that will lead to their own downfall".
Much as I wish I had some sort of practical plan to defeat evil and create a better world, the truth is we are all at our own levels in this giant game, and while I have a pretty good track record with all this conspiracy stuff, if I don't hold some degree of positivity in mind, I'm not strong enough to deal with it all.
Yes, I think we are in deep shit and we have less than five years to turn this globalist plan around. And no, I don't think most normies are ever going to learn or resist anything.
But at the same time I can see that in order to defeat them it is essential that we first hold in mind that defeating them is actually possible. It's a difficult balancing act, but we can do it.
Why are we being constantly spoon fed "end is nigh" programing, not just from the mainstream media, but possibly even more so by the so called "alternative" media?
My feeling at this point is that personally I've been out of balance, too focused on how bad things are getting, and not seeing enough possibilities. So my best plan today is switch to a more positive focus. Writing this blog post is my first step.
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