A FEW GOOD QUOTES

 

Some quotes are rare gems of wisdom that stand out like dog’s balls in TARDWORLD…

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

“Look…you can’t proclaim yourself king just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at you” – Monty Python, Holy Grail

“If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”
― Lawrence Ferlinghetti

“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”
― Lily Tomlin

“There are times when it is appropriate, even preferable, to get an erection when someone’s face is in close proximity to your penis. This was not one of those times.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“Instead of committing suicide, people go to work.”
― Thomas Bernhard, Correction

“I’m placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don’t know, possibly littering.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“What is your advice to young writers?”
“Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.”
― Charles Bukowski, Hot Water Music

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/funny?page=7

George Carlin knocked out a few good ones!

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that” – George Carlin

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
― George Carlin

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”
― George Carlin

“That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
― George Carlin

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
― George Carlin

“Religion is like a pair of shoes…..Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.”
― George Carlin

“Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”
― George Carlin

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”
― George Carlin

“Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school.”
― George Carlin

“Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.”
― George Carlin

“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”
― George Carlin

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”
― George Carlin

“THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: ‘Please stop sucking my dick or I’ll call the police.”
― George Carlin

“I think I am, therefore, I am… I think.”
― George Carlin

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked” – George Carlin

“Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, ‘There is no “I” in team.’ What you should tell them is, ‘Maybe not. But there is an “I” in independence, individuality and integrity'” – George Carlin

“Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.
I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be” – George Carlin

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

“God loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money!”
― George Carlin

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
― George Carlin

“It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.”
― George Carlin

“Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?”
― George Carlin

“I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.”
― George Carlin

“Everyone smiles in the same language.”
― George Carlin

“Don’t just teach your children to read…
Teach them to question what they read.
Teach them to question everything.”
― George Carlin

“No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.”
― George Carlin

“People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.”
― George Carlin

“If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?”
― George Carlin

“People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?”
― George Carlin

“We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.”
― George Carlin

“Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.”
― George Carlin

“I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck. ”
― George Carlin

https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/22782.George_Carlin?page=4

The ongoing struggle of waking up

 With a lot of "conspiracy' stuff I have no problem seeing the scam - Many of them are very obvious, along the lines of "Yes, of course injecting yourself with toxins will have bad results"

But some of the music and popular culture stuff is more difficult. While it's obvious that most of the talentless woketard tossers making the lame music of the past decade are mind controlled deep state assets, I really struggle with applying the same reasoning to all the coolest music from 50 years ago. Yeah, the Beatles do look like a Tavistock creation to me, but what about Pink Floyd's "Dark Side Of The Moon"?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0kcet4aPpQ

 

 Sometimes I listen to that album and it just blows my doors off. It's  brilliant. Could the deep state really create that? I don't think they could. So what was going on. Some questions like that do throw me...

Brooke Shields has always been handsome

No, this is not Caitlyn Jenner!

And he was handsome as a girl too!

WHAT HAVING A BAD DAY LOOKS LIKE...

 

WHALES ON BIKES

And this is why Wellington, New Zealand's most LIBTARD city, has been brought to it's knees by "bike lanes". While hundreds of cars are grid locked and dozens of business are closing down because their customers can't park, every 10 minutes a self righteous whale on a bike rides past, gloriously saving the planet from geoengineered "climate change". Even NORMIES are starting to get really pissed off now.

WE LIVE IN A DARWINIAN WORLD

 

WHICH SECRET CULT IS REALLY RUNNING THINGS?

 There are many theories about this, but whether you think it's Freemasons, Illuminati, Satanists, or elite Jewish families, there is no doubt that in stuff like Formula 1 racing, movies, music, politics, and pretty much everything else that is popular, many, if not most, of the big names are constantly flashing hand signs like "inverted pyramid" or "devil's horns" and throwing out symbols like the number "666" or black & white checkers. They really like to shout their allegiances to their cults from the roof tops...

These things are usually all dismissed as coincidences or conspiracy theories, but after the first 100 or so coincidences I started to become suspicious.

Sir Lewis Hamilton (7x world Formula 1 champion, "vegan activist", and "prominent advocate against racism") 

Lewis Hamilton happens to have an engineer whose nickname is BONO. (Peter Bonnington, often known as Bono, is a British Formula One engineer). Odd? - no, of course not, don't be so paranoid!

The original BONO (U2 front man, "philanthropist", "activist for social justice causes" and "Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order") likes to do a few hand gestures as well, but there is nothing odd about this...

 

See the full gallery here 

 

RANDOM IMAGES #8

 

GAB IS DEAD

Long live the next deep state controlled "alternative" social media platform.

 
I used to use the Gab platform to find memes, but it was never any good for much else, and I had long given up on it. There was very little interaction, the platform never worked well, and most of the content was moronic Americentric posts going on about their clown show politics, with endless memes about puppets like Donald Chump or Joe Bidet.

Gab had long been in decline but it really went downhill rapidly in 2023 - I had a quick look today and as of March it is all over. There are no good memes on there any more. The owner of Gab started charging membership fees to post images from March 1st and that really was the final straw for Gab.

"$19.50 for a 12-month subscription! Your paid sub gets you full access to my content archives, commenting on all articles, all paid posts, my weekly Goody Bag (the best stuff I’ve read that week), and other goodies I might add later"

 

Gab was once considered to be a free speech alternative to sites like Twitter and Facebook. When it first launched, it had an idealistic glow about it, as people thought it might become a viable community that could challenge the censored sites. But the glow wore off quickly, and Gab has been in a downward spiral for years. Recent events have made it clear that the final end of the site is near.

 

Andrew Torba, the owner of Gab, announced that a pro membership would be required to post images on the site. That came after the end of Gab TV and other initiatives that didn’t generate significant revenue for Torba. The announcement about the image posting indicates severe financial problems for Gab.

 

I predict this could well be another boost for Facebook, where the memes are now getting better by the day and with some creative spelling, pretty much any content can be zipped under the radar of their AI censorship.

 

ENGLISH TOURISTS

THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

 

 

1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

2. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."