DARWIN AWARDS

IMAGINE IF THE DARWIN AWARDS BECAME AN ANALOGY FOR LIFE

Maybe we are becoming stupider by the day, but we haven’t noticed yet? Probably best not to contemplate that – it might make us paranoid.

I WAS ABDUCTED

 

I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND ANALLY PROBED

Sometimes we just have to bend over and take it like a gimp.

This one time, I was abducted by aliens. After twelve hours of anal probing they informed me that I would now believe everything I was told by the government.

They also told me that the reason they had beamed me on board their ship was because I kept going on about conspiracies, and if I wanted to avoid further anal probing I would have to stop all that.

So to all the people who want to ask me if I have been abducted by aliens, the short answer is yes, and that is why I haven’t been mentioning any conspiracies.

Then today I realised that we are all being anally probed our sleep anyway so I might as well keep going on about conspiracies.

I’m probably in line for some extra hardcore probing, but what the hell.

HOW TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN

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Americans know how to dress themselves better than any other nation.

The key to making America the greatest nation on earth again is for Americans to be proud of their bodies and their sexuality, and to stop being inhibited – to show the world they are proud to be their true selves.

And the best way for them to do that is to dress for success.

https://mic.com/articles/121660/7-reasons-the-united-states-is-the-greatest-country-in-the-world#.eo9vUsjpg

NOT SAFE FOR AMERICANS (NSFA)

The internet is being made safer for Americans.

This is long overdue as many Americans have been offended. Sites like Fakebook and Youtub are now leading the move to protect Americans from gratuitous offense danger (GOD).

Here are some offensive things that qualify as NSFA:

Use of taboo words that should not be spoken

There are certain words that no American should ever have to see, let alone hear uttered. These include:

The “N” word (NIGGER), the “C” word (CUNT), the “F” word (FRIES), the “P” word (PADS), and the “Z” word (ZEBRA)

Questioning of sacred cows

Long held icons of American culture are beyond question. Pointing out that any of these may not hold up well to background checking, would certainly qualify a post as NSFA.

These might include Microsoft, Atomic Bombs, Dunkin Donuts, Alex Jones, The Moon Landing, McDonalds, Bill Cosby, Google, and Mickey Mouse for example.

Discussion of American statistics that don’t look very good.

Especially anything to do with health. Or money. Or crime. Or war. That sort of thing is just inappropriate. And NSFA.

Statistics such as: 66 percent of all Americans are considered to be overweight, the U.S. has never gone a decade without war, Americans watch 4 hours and 42 minutes of television PER DAY on average, doctors in the United States write more than 250 million prescriptions for antidepressants each year, and the United States has the most laws of any country.

Exposing mainstream propaganda

Some subjects can be argued about until the sacred cows come home, but there is always someone still left who hasn’t grasped that they haven’t got a leg to stand on, and will keep attacking the official story. The official story is official, so that means it is true. To say otherwise should be NSFA.

Some things that should never be questioned include: 911, vaccinations, global warming, low fat diets, autism, democracy, water fluoridation and anything in Wikipedia.

https://www.frot.co.nz/design/sift/conspiracies/

Being offensive

There are certain subjects that should never be encountered by any civilized American. Like money, religion, politics, or going to the bog (restroom) to take a massive dump. These subjects are cheap, unchristian, and politically incorrect…

Related

HOT KARL ACTION

HOT KARL ACTION – KICK ARSE ROCK MUSIC FROM THIS CENTURY

 HAS THERE BEEN ANY KICK ARSE ROCK MUSIC SINCE 2010?

Following on from my HOT BABOON ACTION CD compilation, and still armed with my trusty CD burner, I made my last compilation CD back in 2009.

It was called “HOT KARL ACTION” (2004 - 2008)

Several times since I’ve had a crack at doing another one, but I’ve never found enough awesome tracks to do a full CD’s worth, so I haven’t ended up doing any more compilation CD's.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hot+karl

The last time I was inspired to have a serious crack at it was 2016, and my 2016 compilation was going to be called “HOT FART ACTION” (AKA. Am I just a boring old fart?) and only contain tracks from 2016. But I didn't manage to find a CD’s worth of tracks even ranging from 2008 to 2016, so "HOT KARL" ended up being my last compilation CD.

Here it is, my final compilation from the tail end of the great era of rock music (1967 to 2007). HOT KARL ACTION 2004-2008:

2004 – Arcade Fire – Power Out

2004 – Fix up, Look sharp-by Dizzee Rascal

2004 – Upholsterers – Pain (Gimme Sympathy)

2005 – Bloc Party – Helicopter (The Whitey Remix)

2005 – Franz Ferdinand – The Fallen (2006)

2005 – Arctic Monkeys – I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor

2006 – Cold War Kids – “Hang Me Up To Dry”

2006 – Muse – Supermassive Black Hole

2007 – Brakes – Cease And Desist

2007 – Kaiser Chiefs – Everything Is Average Nowadays

2007 – Kings of Leon- Knocked up

2007 – LCD Soundsystem – “Time to get away”

2007 – The Shins – Phantom Limb

2007 – The White Stripes – Catch Hell Blues

2007 – Yeah Yeah Yeahs 10×10

2008 – Beck – Gamma Ray

2008 – Flight of the Conchords (NZ) – Inner City Pressure

2008 – The Raconteurs – Consoler of the Lonely

and a bonus track from 2009

2009 – Karen O / Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Soft Shock (Acoustic)

 

 

BADCOCK GOES APE

This is what I did to one of John Badcock's paintings. John Badcock is a NZ painter whose paintings pull in surprisingly high prices. Here is one of a naked man beating a woman with a stick.

I took a photo of one of his paintings in a gallery and carefully added some Toyota HiAce van reflection to give my photo of his painting some added social context.

And then I let rip with a few filters which seemed to bring out the beating aspect a little more. There is nothing like a good beating!

The things you see in the street…

Are we being traumatised by these images? Well I guess that depends how sensitive we are.

I didn’t make any of this up – really I didn’t – Here is a photo of John Badcock: