BLOWING UP POLITICIANS

Today is November 5th - Here in New  Zealand we used to CELEBRATE BLOWING UP POLITICIANS on this day every year. 

Which is a damn good idea really, that is certainly something worth celebrating. Every year on November the 5th, we used to have a huge public celebration of blowing up politicians with lots of bombs. It was called Guy Fawkes.

Rather than hiring hundreds of crisis actors to lie about in the streets pretending to be dead, we would just buy a few hundred thousand dollars worth of Chinese fire works and let them off over the harbour.

And instead of freaking out for months about “terrorists” and “lone shooters” we would just go “awesome, that looked cool”

But for some strange reason, the worthless treasonous scum who call themselves "politicians" banned Guy Fawkes and turned it into some meaningless woketard public firework display on a different day that nobody gives a toss about. 

One year back in the old days I felt that my pictures of the fireworks could be a bit more abstract, so here are some unrealistic photos of the fireworks display over Wellington Harbour.

KIWIS vs. AUSSIES

Bleeding Aussie Roo Shaggers

As a Kiwi, sometimes I am horrified to be mistaken for an Aussie. Usually by Americans. So now I’m going to explain some key differences between Kiwis and Aussies.

People in other countries often assume that because we are neighbours, we are just like each other, and great mates as well. But nothing could be further from the truth. We are more like North and South Korea, Serbia and Croatia, or England and Ireland.

First the big issue, the elephant in the closet. Aussies shag Kangaroos. It is a bizarre obsession, and they do it constantly. In a desperate attempt to cover up this national embarrassment they have even made up a story that Kiwis shag sheep. So despite the fact that this has never happened, they always refer to us as “sheep shaggers”

And the next big one is that they can’t speak English properly. So again they have made up a story to cover up the embarrassing truth. Because there are some vowels they can’t pronounce, they claim that they have no issues with their own speech, and it’s Kiwis that are wrong.

The most famous example is “fish and chips” Aussies can’t pronounce either of these words so they say “feesh and cheeps”. Although anyone who can speak English properly can hear this obvious balls up, as a cover story they accuse Kiwis of saying “fush and chups”

Then there is the whole Rugby thing. Aussies are obsessed with Rugby, it’s their national sport, but they are not very good at it. In fact every time there is a NZ vs Aus test match they get totally spanked by the All Blacks, and have their arses handed to them on a plate.

So in typical Aussie fashion they have invented their own version of Rugby that no other country plays. It’s even called “Aussie Rules”. Odd looking men in tight shorts wrestle about in a homoerotic fashion in front of stadiums filled with drunken Aussies fantasizing that they are watching some public roo shagging.

Another issue of great contention is the Pavlova theft. Australia was originally set up by the English as a penal colony – a place to ship all their criminals to, and get rid of them once and for all. So Aussies, in between shagging kangaroos, like to steal things. It’s in their blood.

At some point they decided to steal our national pudding, claim they invented it, and then to add insult to injury, they now claim we stole it from them.

An area that Australia really is world famous for, is feminism. NZ was the first country in the world to give women the vote, and New Zealand is ranked number 4 behind Iceland, Norway and Sweden on the Women in Work Index.

Australia meanwhile, is just famous for its angry militant feminists.

An Aussie “feminist” called Clementine Ford regularly makes headlines for saying things like “Have you killed any men today? – If not, why not?” And the scary thing is that she is not a stand up comedienne taking the piss out of femnazis. She is a regular Aussie femnazi!

While these things are some of the more critical issues for any Kiwi to keep in mind, I suppose I had better add in another key fact for overseas readers. Australia is a vast desert with hardly any people in it, just millions of dingos and kangaroos. They have the most poisonous spiders and snakes of any country, their rivers are filled with crocodiles and the surrounding sea is filled with sharks.

New Zealand has no dangerous or poisonous animals. None at all. We just have millions of sheep and soft cuddly possums. Australia has possums too, but theirs are really ugly looking things. And that is an analogy for the whole NZ vs Aus thing. Yes we have similarities, but in every case NZ is totally superior.

A NZ possum – we have over 30 million of these cute animals, and they are treated like a national treasure

Australia has more than 30 creatures that can kill someone in less than the time it takes to post a Tweeter status update “I’ve been swimming with some friendly jellyfeesh but now I feel a bit sheet so I’m going to…”

Both countries are well aware of these underlying truths, but only one has dedicated the past century to making up ever more deranged stories in a desperate attempt to disguise the fact that they can’t say “chips”

RANDOMS 2025 #44

 

 

FIRST DAY OF SUMMER

Today is the first day of summer. At least it is if you live in the southern hemisphere. If you live in the northern hemisphere it's the start of winter so you are buggered...

And it only is if you live in New Zealand, because everywhere else is a day behind us. So what I'm essentially saying is that if you live anywhere else but New Zealand, you are late, and tomorrow you will be buggered. Sorry...

 If you are a flat earther how on earth do you explain any of this? No, on second thought, don't tell me, I really can't be bothered with flat earthers, so now I'll just have a few lols instead.

FOR ME OR FOR YOU?

Holy cow, today is the last day of October. It seems like only last week I was freaking out that another month had gone by in two weeks. But that was actually the last day of September. Today it feels like the entire month of October has whizzed by in just seven days. Is time accelerating?.

An ongoing question that I've never really come to a firm conclusion about is "Who am I actually writing blog posts for, myself or a possibly imaginary audience?".

Something that threw me a bit this year was finding that if I didn't do any posts for a month, my daily hits appeared to increase, and if I did more posts than my usual one each day, my hits appeared to decrease. That is really quite perplexing, and I have ruminated about it from time to time...

Looking at which posts consistently get the most hits, the clear leader is the one about the book "Nutrition and Physical Degeneration" by Weston A. Price

I'm really pleased to be publicizing and sharing this amazing book from 1939, which I rate as both the best nutrition and the best anthropological book of all time.

But beyond that, my most popular posts are usually just collections of random memes that I tend to slap together when I feel like a lol and can't be arsed writing anything long winded. 

Maybe 10 years ago about half of all internet traffic was still actual real people, living humans surfing the internet, including the people reading blog posts. But here in 2025 I'm convinced that is no longer the case, and now I suspect something like 90% of all internet traffic is AI.

So I seem to be claiming here that time is accelerating and nearly everybody online is a bot. That all sounds totally fruit-loops doesn't it? I can't prove either of those claims are true, but I know I'm not the only person thinking along those lines, because I've seen other people voicing similar thoughts. At least I think they were people, but they actually could have been bots too.

To stir things up a bit I like to make some changes each month, especially to my blog. For November I'm going to try making the following three changes to this blog: 

1. To post whatever I feel like, long or short, anything from full length posts with references, down to single memes with no words at all. 

2. To post whenever I feel like posting something, so if I feel like doing a heap of posts on one day I will, but if I can't be arsed posting anything at all for a few days, so be it.

3. To post for the primary audience of myself, not giving a toss what anyone else might think, or caring whether or not any of my posts are likely to draw in "hits" or not. 

At the moment this blog is literally jumping up and down each day from around 250 daily hits lows, up to occasional 1400 hits on one day highs.  That makes no sense to me, but if it's all meaningless, why do I give a toss anyway?.